red cross

today the school-age kids where at school because of mlk jr. day. they were in the hall coming up with some ideas about decorating jars to collect money to help people in haiti.

one boy (who used to be in my threes class long ago!) was explaining to me what their ideas were...

"we're going to make jars so people can donate money to redd foxx."

"you mean red cross?" asked his teacher.

"oh yeah, that."

stripedy

suzy comes in with striped socks.

"i have striped socks too!" i say and lift up my pant leg a bit. "oh, wait. are those socks or tights?" i ask.

she thinks for a moment like she's unsure of how to answer.

"i mean, mine are socks because they stop at my knees." i explain.

a look of understanding comes across her face. "mine are TIGHTS! because they go all the way up to my bottom."

crazy hair

after rest time one boy pops up from his cot and looks around. suzy looks over and giggles. "billy, it looks like you sleeped good! because of your hair!"

to which he just smiled.

yoga anyone?

okay, so it's really sad that it's been over a year since i posted any great kid quotes or stories. for the three people that read this (one of those people is myself) here you go!

at morning meeting things start to get a little out of control. the kids are starting to get a little loud. my co-teacher and i decide to sit back and let them all try to work it out on their own.

after a few minutes of the children shushing each other and telling one another what they need to be doing, one girl shouts out, one hand on her hip, one finger pointing all about; "guys, we either need to just do our jobs or we need to do some oms."

click on title for reference.

love and marriage

billy and suzy are playing with toys at a table when billy stops what he's doing, like a great idea washed over him and they have to do it. right. now.

"suzy, let's go to the home center (that's our house area) and get married! you want to? suzy! come on! i can't get married by MYSELF!" billy says frantically.

teenage preschool politics, it's too confusing...

me: what's your cousin's name?
child: suzy. is your cousin sarah palin?
me: no.
child: you should vote for sarah palin.
me: everyone can vote for whomever they want.
child: i'm gonna vote for obama.
child 2: me too, i'm want barak obama like daddy!
me: or you could vote for john mccain.
child 3: i hate john mccain. we don't like george bush.
me: and i don't like talking politics with four-year-olds!

dardinelle

i haven't been posting much this summer because:

a) schoolage kids just don't say the crazy things that preschool kids say. they DO say crazy things, just not that i can post here...this is a family friendly site!

b) i'm nearly eight months pregnant. i'm forgetful. i'm tired. i'm hungry. cut me some slack!

c) i've been trying to launch my website selling baby onesies. that takes up a lot of time!

please come visit my site, or even better you can BUY something for your babies or friends with babies or people you know that are going to have babies. BABIES!!!

http://dardinelle.com

summer schoolage program

while preschool is out for the summer, i'm working the "olders" at a summer schoolge program (which is more like day camp than anything else). It's 7-10 year-olds and it's just as crazy as it sounds.

the girls always want to make crafts and the boys always want to play trading cards (like pokemon and yugio)

somehow the subject of heaven came up the other day. billy expressed his excitement about going...

"i can't wait until i get to heaven because then i won't have to listen to my mom tell me what to do and i can play my (nintendo) DS all day long!"

you can pick your friends...

during circle time i ask suzy to get a tissue (instead of spelunking for a chunk of gold with her pinky finger.)

someone chimes in with "she was picking her nose! eeeewww!!!"

so i had to diffuse the situation before it got out of control. i started saying something about how it was okay and everyone does it but it's really best to use a tissue for that job to which billy shouts out,

"there's lots of different ways to pick your nose!"

i still prefer the tissue.

breathmint anyone?

boy 1: "hey, come 'on!"

boy 2: "your breath smells like transformers."

boy 1: (strange out of the corner of his eye look at boy 2)

names

we were talking about the origin of names the other day and one of the teachers said, "names come from all different places..." to which the kids interrupted with "like the zoo?" "and north carolina?" "and new york?" "and outer space!!!"

sure.

i asked some of the children what i should name my baby. some of my favorites are:

pocahontas, angel, star, tomato, space girl, snowman, snowflake, apple, pingo, cook, macaroni and cheese and jesus.

i like space girl the best so far. what do you think?

baby boom

so i told the families i'm pregnant a couple of weeks ago and it's pretty much been a buzz among the children ever since. lots of thoughts about this little baby of mine. i brought an ultrasound to show the kiddos and a couple kids had some interesting ideas about what it looked like.

suzy: "your baby looks like a fuzzball!"
billy: "it looks like a coffee maker!"

one day out of the blue billy came up to me and said, "you need a baby bath!" "a what?" i wondered. "a baby bath. it's where people come and give you things for your baby!" i thought he might be confused. "do you mean a baby SHOWER?" he looked at me puzzled. "no! i mean a baby BATH!"

i guess i'm the confused one.

did rapunzel have this problem?

i asked suzy if she liked short hair or long hair. she replied with,

"i like short hair. my aunt has long hair and one time she peed on it. it went all the way down to her labia."

isn't that a jewel song?

we were all out on the playground and my fours classes all like to play chase. all of them will chase each other around the whole half-hour we're outside and never get tired of it...well almost all of them.

"wait a minute, guys. stop! i've had about enough of these FOOLISH games!" billy says while doing that motion with both hands towards the ground like, "calm down."

happy easter! but...

as i finished telling the story of easter to my threes class, one boy raises his hand and says,

"but where's the eggs?!"

i guess those bible writers forgot that part.

thankful

i realized yesterday as i was telling one of my favorite quotes to some friends that i never posted it here. it was during november and we were talking all about what we're thankful for.

i asked suzy what she was thankful for and she said, "my mom and my dad and god...he's my husband-i mean, GIRLFRIEND!"

and you've got to imagine that she's being DEAD SERIOUS.

terminology

remember the girl who was wearing a body part apron and pointed to her intestines and said, "this is where i poops"?

well, yesterday she decided to be a little more specific by pointing to the intestines on our mannequin and letting us know that is was called a "pee-gyna."

good to know.

anatomically correct

we have an apron of sorts that has stuffed body parts with velcro keeping them in place (so you can put it on and see where all your parts are.)

a little girl puts it on and i point to the stomach and ask her what it is.

"my tummy!"

then i ask her about her lungs.

"my lungs!"

after we're done with the conversation, she starts telling one of her friends all her parts while pointing to them. "...and this is where i poops!" she says pointing to the intestines.

grey-ish anatomy

pointing to the part of a mannequin with body parts you can take out and put back in (you know, like the ones you see in science class in high school) i ask the children what i'm pointing to.

no response.

"they help you breathe" i say as i point to both lungs.

"BOOBS!" one boy shouts.

so trashy

two boys playing in the home center start a conversation after one puts on the construction outfit.

"i'm a garbage man!" says the first boy decked out in all his gear and then some.

to which the other boy exclaims, "then why do you have a camera around your neck? i don't think people want pictures of their trash!"

what would you bring baby jesus?

we were talking to the children about what the three wise men brought to baby jesus when he was born and then we asked the children what they might bring if they were going to give a gift to jesus. here are an assortment of answers from my four and five-year-olds.

"a big hug."

"i'm gonna bring lucy, my puppy. she will slobber."

"hola kitty boots."

"gold racecars and stuff. and playdoh." to which another child responds, "jesus might eat playdoh."

"i'm gonna bring gold and frankinsence. if i can find a real 'x' and a stick i could give it to baby jesus but he might eat that stick."

"i would give him a light-saver, it's a sword. do you think he would want that billy?" to which billy responds, "it might be too big for him."

"a bag of stickers. how 'bout that?"

"a fish. one that looks like nemo."

"i don't know...i JUST. DON'T. KNOW!"

billy, mary, whatever

one little boy really likes to wear the new dresses we have in the home center and he really likes to be mary and hold the baby jesus.

i ask who he is (because i just can't resist his scratchy little three-year-old voice)

"i'm mary. i'm gonna have a baby today." he says in a sparkly dress and angel wings.

jesus was born where?

we've been talking a lot about christmas in our class (since we are a christian preschool) and i've gotten some pretty interesting reponses to my questions.

me: "who was jesus' dad?"
child: "joe-fish!"

me: "where was jesus born?"
child: "in a sta...stadium!"

me: "what was the angel's name who told mary she was going to have a baby?"
child: "gab-ah-reel!"

and we also have changed our home center from a kitchen to a stable with a manger and hay and a baby jesus. there's lots of clothes for the kids to dress like mary and joseph and angels. one little girl puts on an angel outfit every day and i ask, "who are you?"

"i'm the angel gabriel!" she replies.

"do you have a message for mary?" i ask. then she runs over to whomever is dressed as mary and shouts,

"mary, mary, you're gonna have a baby and his name's gonna be JESUS!" and she giggles and smiles the biggest smile.

tell and show

during show and tell today, someone was telling about their ariel doll (you know ariel from the little mermaid?) little suzy raises her hand and "asks" a question:

"i really like your ariel doll. i like her hair. and i like her ::boobies::" she whispers toward the end.

i tried not to laugh because i sensed she was trying to evoke that response.

::boobies::

pumpkin head

we were talking with the kids today about our trip to the pumpkin patch coming up next friday. while we were sitting at "circle time" they were all abuzz with comments and questions. as we moved on to snack and were sitting at the table, i asked my friends sitting with me what kind of pumpkin they thought they would choose.

one said he wanted a little tiny one, another said she wanted one as big as her dad and billy said,

"i want one the exact shape of my head!" he said as he motioned his hands around his head like measurements.

o-kay!

everyone has a different version of beautiful...

billy was gathering his things to leave class today and his dad told him they needed to go pick someone up at the airport. billy looks up at me and says,

"it's beautiful. the airport is."

and as i'm asking to make sure he said the airport was beautiful he looks at the clock behind me and says,

"oh no! we gotta go, we're gonna be late!"

(i assure you he cannot tell time yet. he is a VERY young three.)

"okay," i say as he rushes away. "bye!"

"see you in a couple days!" he says over his shoulder. "alright?"

yeah, it's alright with me.

i'm goin' to disneyland!

i walked two three year old boys to the bathroom the other day and one chose the toilet, the other chose the urinal. i walked back to the classroom, then came back a minute later to check on them. i hear the flush of the urinal and then,

"oh, cooool! it's like splash mountain!"

i thought i heard him wrong. i peeked in and he looked at me and said,

"it's like splash mountain at disneyland!"

funny, i remember it a little diferently.

Who's the boss?

Since the start of school this week I've been called Many different names. "Mr. Bachman" "Mrs. Bock-a -Min" "Ms. BlockMin" and My personal favorite, "Mrs. bossman" oh yes, he who is young is wise.

tea time

while visiting with a young student-to-be, we sat down for a lovely tea party. I asked her,

"what kind of tea is this?" to which she replied,

"beer." to which her mother replied,

"did she just say BEER?!" and turned all shades of red. i assured her she needn't worry, as the "beer tea" in question was very good.

mr. bachman

so i have a new job now...i don't work with 2 and 3 year olds anymore. now i work with 3 and 4 year olds at a different school. long story. i'll tell you about it sometime. point is, i'm doing what we call "home visits" for all the children coming into my class in september.

i go to the child's home and we play or have snack, whatever for about an hour. so far it's been fun and pretty mellow. the other day, i met a very vibrant young lady who liked to say my name over and over...sort of.

"mister bachman, mister bachman, missus bachman...come here mister bachman." she kept saying as she ran from one room to the other.

"here i am! i'm mrs. bachman!" i would try to correct subtly.

"oh, hi mister bachman!" she said with her big blue eyes staring up at me.

just like the skunk from bambi would say, "she can call me mister bachman if she wants to."