love and marriage

billy and suzy are playing with toys at a table when billy stops what he's doing, like a great idea washed over him and they have to do it. right. now.

"suzy, let's go to the home center (that's our house area) and get married! you want to? suzy! come on! i can't get married by MYSELF!" billy says frantically.


teenage preschool politics, it's too confusing...

me: what's your cousin's name?
child: suzy. is your cousin sarah palin?
me: no.
child: you should vote for sarah palin.
me: everyone can vote for whomever they want.
child: i'm gonna vote for obama.
child 2: me too, i'm want barak obama like daddy!
me: or you could vote for john mccain.
child 3: i hate john mccain. we don't like george bush.
me: and i don't like talking politics with four-year-olds!



i haven't been posting much this summer because:

a) schoolage kids just don't say the crazy things that preschool kids say. they DO say crazy things, just not that i can post here...this is a family friendly site!

b) i'm nearly eight months pregnant. i'm forgetful. i'm tired. i'm hungry. cut me some slack!

c) i've been trying to launch my website selling baby onesies. that takes up a lot of time!

please come visit my site, or even better you can BUY something for your babies or friends with babies or people you know that are going to have babies. BABIES!!!



summer schoolage program

while preschool is out for the summer, i'm working the "olders" at a summer schoolge program (which is more like day camp than anything else). It's 7-10 year-olds and it's just as crazy as it sounds.

the girls always want to make crafts and the boys always want to play trading cards (like pokemon and yugio)

somehow the subject of heaven came up the other day. billy expressed his excitement about going...

"i can't wait until i get to heaven because then i won't have to listen to my mom tell me what to do and i can play my (nintendo) DS all day long!"


you can pick your friends...

during circle time i ask suzy to get a tissue (instead of spelunking for a chunk of gold with her pinky finger.)

someone chimes in with "she was picking her nose! eeeewww!!!"

so i had to diffuse the situation before it got out of control. i started saying something about how it was okay and everyone does it but it's really best to use a tissue for that job to which billy shouts out,

"there's lots of different ways to pick your nose!"

i still prefer the tissue.

breathmint anyone?

boy 1: "hey, come 'on!"

boy 2: "your breath smells like transformers."

boy 1: (strange out of the corner of his eye look at boy 2)



we were talking about the origin of names the other day and one of the teachers said, "names come from all different places..." to which the kids interrupted with "like the zoo?" "and north carolina?" "and new york?" "and outer space!!!"


i asked some of the children what i should name my baby. some of my favorites are:

pocahontas, angel, star, tomato, space girl, snowman, snowflake, apple, pingo, cook, macaroni and cheese and jesus.

i like space girl the best so far. what do you think?

baby boom

so i told the families i'm pregnant a couple of weeks ago and it's pretty much been a buzz among the children ever since. lots of thoughts about this little baby of mine. i brought an ultrasound to show the kiddos and a couple kids had some interesting ideas about what it looked like.

suzy: "your baby looks like a fuzzball!"
billy: "it looks like a coffee maker!"

one day out of the blue billy came up to me and said, "you need a baby bath!" "a what?" i wondered. "a baby bath. it's where people come and give you things for your baby!" i thought he might be confused. "do you mean a baby SHOWER?" he looked at me puzzled. "no! i mean a baby BATH!"

i guess i'm the confused one.


did rapunzel have this problem?

i asked suzy if she liked short hair or long hair. she replied with,

"i like short hair. my aunt has long hair and one time she peed on it. it went all the way down to her labia."


isn't that a jewel song?

we were all out on the playground and my fours classes all like to play chase. all of them will chase each other around the whole half-hour we're outside and never get tired of it...well almost all of them.

"wait a minute, guys. stop! i've had about enough of these FOOLISH games!" billy says while doing that motion with both hands towards the ground like, "calm down."

happy easter! but...

as i finished telling the story of easter to my threes class, one boy raises his hand and says,

"but where's the eggs?!"

i guess those bible writers forgot that part.



i realized yesterday as i was telling one of my favorite quotes to some friends that i never posted it here. it was during november and we were talking all about what we're thankful for.

i asked suzy what she was thankful for and she said, "my mom and my dad and god...he's my husband-i mean, GIRLFRIEND!"

and you've got to imagine that she's being DEAD SERIOUS.


remember the girl who was wearing a body part apron and pointed to her intestines and said, "this is where i poops"?

well, yesterday she decided to be a little more specific by pointing to the intestines on our mannequin and letting us know that is was called a "pee-gyna."

good to know.


anatomically correct

we have an apron of sorts that has stuffed body parts with velcro keeping them in place (so you can put it on and see where all your parts are.)

a little girl puts it on and i point to the stomach and ask her what it is.

"my tummy!"

then i ask her about her lungs.

"my lungs!"

after we're done with the conversation, she starts telling one of her friends all her parts while pointing to them. "...and this is where i poops!" she says pointing to the intestines.

grey-ish anatomy

pointing to the part of a mannequin with body parts you can take out and put back in (you know, like the ones you see in science class in high school) i ask the children what i'm pointing to.

no response.

"they help you breathe" i say as i point to both lungs.

"BOOBS!" one boy shouts.

so trashy

two boys playing in the home center start a conversation after one puts on the construction outfit.

"i'm a garbage man!" says the first boy decked out in all his gear and then some.

to which the other boy exclaims, "then why do you have a camera around your neck? i don't think people want pictures of their trash!"