How many strokes does it take to successfully brush your hair? That sounds something like, "how many licks does it take to get to the center of a toostie roll tootsie pop", but this is a much more important question. One that some lame owl doesn't cheat to find the answer to.
Marsha Brady thought you had to brush your hair 100 times-on each side. Apparently, so did the woman in front of me on I-5 while we were in stop and go traffic. That's fine, I don't have a problem with that, but as the traffic speeds up to upwards of 45mph, she is still brushing her hair.
Brushing and brushing and brushing. For TEN MINUTES! I'm not exaggerating, I promise. Okay, I know what you're thinking. "Ten minutes doesn't seem like a long time." But I just dare you to brush your hair for ten minutes. One or more of the following may happen:
-You will get REALLY tired
-Large clumps of your hair will fall out
-You'll have so much static cling going on, that you could supply power to a small village
-You'll get into an accident (that is, if you are attempting to do this while operating a large vehicle, such as a CAR!!!)
Well, the lady did not get into an accident, but if you see a yellow Ford Focus with California license plates and support our troops "ribbons" driving around, beware. She was the worst driver EVER! Be aware.
He needed help with his coat today. He kept flipping it-you know the flip, right? When you put your coat on the floor, put your arms in the holes and flip it over your head. You know you want to do it, since you haven't in years I'm sure!
But he couldn't flip it right. He cried out to me,
I was washing the tables, so I told him to ask Suzy.
He then started running around the room, with his coat half on, upside down shouting in his little asian accent,
"Suzy-boo, haaaeeehp! Suuuuzy-booooo!"
Maybe you had to be there...or actually hear how funny it is. Say it to yourself if you need to. Go ahead, no one's listening. SEE?! It's so cute!!!
I love getting liedeediedee on my back...someone could do that for hours (if they know the proper technique.) During rest time, I did some liedeediedees for billy. He fell asleep almost instantly.
A few days later when I was leaving for my lunch, I walked by his cot and grabbed his blanket to cover him up. He stops my hand, pushes the blanket away and looks up at me,
Like I'm going to say no to that!
So as four kids were going to town painting all over their faces, necks and hands I was snapping pictures. One boy wasn't painting his face at all. I think he didn't quite understand what was going on so I gave him a little dollop on his nose. He thought this was hillarious!
Another boy took his painty Q-tip and put some brown paint on his nose. I told him to give me an eskimo kiss with his nose. Then he decided I still needed more paint on my nose and used his finger to put more on.
I only realized about a half an hour later when I was getting lunch ready, that there was a perfect little brown handprint on my right breast.
Lesson: watch those little hands getting fresh when you're sneaking an eskimo kiss!
p.s. I did manage to get a nice manicure, though. I had to post the pictures seperately...my computer skills are lacking since I don't spend all day at the computer anymore.
"More!" Billy shouts.
"More what?" I ask.
"That!" He points at the bowl of food.
"More cottage cheese?" I suggest.
"Cottage pee!" He shouts.
"More cottage cheese, please." I prompt.
"MORE COTTAGE PEE PEE!"
I should've seen that coming.
"I have a baby in my tummy!" Suzy says.
"Me too!" Says Sue.
Suzy then walks over to one of the other teachers, lifts her shirt, "grabs" at her stomach and hands an invisible something to her.
"Here you go. You can you hold my baby, Billy, okay?"
Then Sue proceeds to go to the window sill and lay in it, putting her knees up.
"Are you feeling sleepy, Sue?" I ask.
"Nope. I'm just laying down to get the baby out." She says plainly.
Well, of course!
Suzy was busy putting her baby's diaper on it's naked little body when Sue walked up to her and pointed at the doll, "Your baby has poop!" she exclaimed.
"No she doesn't," Suzy said. "Where?"
"Right there!" Sue points directly at the doll.
Suzy then understands that her friend is very confused and straightens the matter up quickly,
"That's not her poop, that's her PEE-NUSS!"
"Oh." Sue says, as if it's the most logical explanation she's ever heard.
I have the answer to the question you're thinking in your head. The answer is YES. Yes, we do have politically AND anotomically correct baby dolls in our classroom. This doll happened to be an african-american boy baby. Make sense now?
But this time, it totally made me tear up, because I knew I would be back, but it would be so different.
"Do you feel the pee coming?" I ask.
"Not yet." He says in a half-grunt.
A minute passes.
"Any pee yet?"
I'm starting to think he's stalling. Stalling to get out of what? Playing with leggos, reading books...what could be better than that? Apparently getting one on one time with me while sitting on the toilet.
"How do you know when the pee is coming?" I ask, half thinking he'll say 'I just know!'
He takes a deep breath, and starts his explanation. "Well, you see, the pee travels down and down (as he makes a back and forth motion as you would if you were tracing your intestines) and comes down to my penis, then out of my pee-pee. Then it goes into the toilet and down to the pipes where it goes into a special box where the poop and pee go. There, it's all mixed together and changed back into water and comes back up again," he says as he makes a swirling motion in the toilet bowl, much like the water does when you flush and it fills back up again.
Makes sence to me.
One of the teachers in class just had her baby. A few weeks back I brought a bunch of books from the library to read and discuss with the children to prepare them for her departure and for the arrival of her first baby. They've all been buzzing with thoughts and ideas.
One book shows babies at different stages-real photographs-where all they have on are colorful cloth diaper covers, EXCEPT for the newborn, which is naked. Billy thought this was SO hillarious and makes sure to point it out to me every time we read it.
We were all playing outside when we got the news that the teacher had her baby.
"Billy, teacher Suzy had her baby!" I say with delight, thinking he'll be so excited he won't be able to contain himself...Nothing. A short glance up at me, a look of disinterest, and back to the shovel and pail full of sand which seem much more exciting.
"And it was NAKED!" I say with certainty that this will surely get his attention. He looks up from what he's doing, gets a grin on his face and asks,
"All da way nay-ted?!"
"YES!" I shout with glee as he gets the biggest smile on his face I've seen all day.
"A-HEE!" He giggles, then proceeds to tell anyone who asks about Suzy's baby that it was, in fact, 'all da way nay-ted.'
"Bye-bye poop and pee!"
Then dances a little jig singing, "I'm all da way nay-ted!" To which I point out his clothes resting in a pile on the floor.
About three minutes later when I came back into the bathroom, I realized he had spent the entire time manuvering both of his legs into one of the legs of his sweatpants, rendering him a very cute-but totally imoblie- mermaid.
"Ahh-heeh-heeh!" Was all he had to say to me.
I mean, you usually count to three or four, depending on the count of the song. (e.g. A one, a two, a one-two-three-four [music starts] )
Well, when your three, the logic in that doesn't really apply. Why not just count as high as you possibly can?
"I must tell you something." He said in a very concerned voice. "Last night Billy spent a good 40 minutes talking about you, including phrases such as, 'Leslie is a good friend,' 'I would like to give Leslie some tortalini' and 'I really love Leslie.' I just thought I would let you know."
This makes me feel good on so many levels; one being that I sometimes wonder if his parents think I'm a good teacher. This doesn't really confirm that, but I venture to guess that it just might! The other is that Billy really likes me. If that doesn't mean much to you, you probably haven't been offered bark chip tortalini by a two year old.
"Somebody in my poctet!" Says *Billy.
"Who?" I ask.
"Bear in dare." He states plainly as he reaches into his pants pocket to search for the small wooden figurine he placed there earlier. He realizes there's nothing in that pocket and proceeds to search the other.
"Nobody in dare. I thought bear in dare!" He exclaims. "Oh my doodness!" He giggles and searches for the missing figure on the floor around him.
I want to be two again.
just in case you don't know this already, three year olds are awesome! in case you don't agree, let me just tell you that one boy in my class keeps stopping what he's doing to tell me he loves me.
that's all. i wish i could keep this updated more...then again, i'm glad i'm busy with other things.
Four jobs I've had:
Graphics Aide (at a newspaper)
Four movies I can watch over and over:
The Princess Bride
Happy Gilmore (but don't tell anyone)
Four places I've liked:
Prague, Czech Republic
Dalmatian Coast, Croatia
Manhattan, New York
Four TV shows I love :
Note: I don't watch T.V. much, and there's nothing I rush home to watch but every once and again I like:
CSI (the original, the only, Las Vegas)
Four places I've vacationed:
Four of my favorite dishes:
Pepperoni Pizza-I know I'm not seven anymore, but I love it!
Stir fry made with Yakisoba noodles
Beef Stroganoff (but only my step dad's 'cuz his is the best!)
Chicken Pad Thai
Four sites I visit daily:
Dooce who makes me squirt chocolate milk out of my nose daily.
My friend Aaron's site.
Marilyn's super cute site.
and of course, my flickr page.
Four places I would rather be right now:
On a warm beach somewhere
With my super-hot boyfriend having a nice dinner
Snuggled up watching a movie, drinking hot cocoa
Or all of the above wrapped into one! :D
I would put down four people I'm tagging, but I doubt very highly that anyone really reads this blog. But if you do, consider yourself tagged.
mpatrizio makes the cutest little softies, and I'm not usually one for stuffed animals, but this guy is SO adorable!
She's also really cool (not that I actually know her, but...) and always has fun things to see on her site.
She also has an etsy shop, so go check her out already!